june 30, 2023
blog post #8
holy balls. holy absolute fucking shit, jesus h christ.
denizens, when i say that these past goddamn 24 hours have been hell, you have no idea. or i mean, you probably do...but this was pretty bad IMO. basically, i head to the airport totally chill. like, i got my bags set, i've got my stuff prepared, everything is charged etc, i have my posts drafted and several new indie horror games to plow through on my flight, like: i am golden.
please picture everything i'm telling you in the airport you usually frequent. we get to united's check-in area. disaster strikes. my dad throws a hissy fit over his seats, he didn't register under the right passport, it went on and on. eventually - after over an hour - we get our bags checked and issued our boarding passes. disaster strikes again. our boarding passes have no seats, but we did actually pay for seats together. what! so we've been overcharged for seats we...don't even have. awesome. the saga continues: TS-fucking-A. (an anagram of TSA is TAS, taylor alison swift...hmmmmm) let's be so fucking for real: TSA is a bureaucratic wet dream, and a civilian nightmare. and it lived up to it's usual nightmare. hour long line, guy didn't like my boarding pass, etc. i pass through successfully. (keep bomb jokes OUT OF IT.) but the thingymabopper that, like, collects your TSA trays nearly SUCKED my entire laptop into the depths of your average U.S. airport. awesome x2. by now, the entire family is low-key fighting and it's getting gnarly. that's when i get a text that...no one else gets? our fucking flight is cancelled.
now, the issue with this is that it is a connection to another flight to australia. nice one, united. so we're all separated in the airport and like, freaking out because only i know that the flight is cancelled. so i'm screenshotting and sharing, and trying to find my family, and it's all going absolutely pear-shaped. we decide to meetup at the american express lounge - shut it - and the lady won't let us in! "why, tequila? it seems very reasonable to let you and your nice mother in, as you are high-up members!" well, i'll tell you. if you don't have a boarding pass, you can't go in. we explain that we do in fact have them, but as of two minutes ago, our flight was cancelled. then, my english dad insists on swearing, and then we all have to leave. awesome x3.
we decide, as a union, the best decision is to go to their help desk. and we find, to our absolute dismay, it's CLOSED. FOREVER. ok. ??? next option is to leave and go back out through security and talk to the people at the check in desk. apparently, this is what everyone else decided, too! so about...hm...200 people are lined up? and the wait on the phone with united is...hm...3 hours? okay. awesome x4. so i sit down - because i actually haven't even eaten today - and start talking to this elderly japanese-american man and we become very good friends. we sit there for about 2 hours talking about our respective lives. so maybe something good did come out of this. eventually, our flight is delayed, but then cancelled again, and then uh delayed. but finally, it's cancelled. so, we go to a hotel for the night, and surrender our flight. if everything had gone according to plan, i would already be in australia living it up in the winter. (i love winter.)
but i am here. at least you guys get a fun and interesting post!
love,
- t xx
p.s. i know you're reading this. thanks for texting me - and it's not cute that i'm coding in an airport. i have a serious blog to maintain, idiot.