june 10, 2023

blog post #5

sorry for the belated post! it was a pretty jam-packed day, to be frank. it is officially 1 whole year since I got together with who I consider "The Ex." you know- the one who you will drunk dial, come back to, hate, blah blah blah, but you know you won't really ever leave them alone and vice versa. thought i would let you all know.

i tested negative so i finally got to leave my house - yippee! as a reward, i took two of my friends to see a comedy play, it was a very english debacle. it was largely enjoyable, but there were some points that were quite poorly written and painful. trust my judgement, since i am a 17 year old playwright and director and therefore know much, much more than a veteran in their field. post-show, to bide time, we wandered around Fred Meyer. interesting...? but it was fun. i bought the one and only OPI nail color worth having, "i'm not really a waittress." what that means, i leave you to insinuate. the night gets stranger. i go to P.F. Chang's for dinner, but let me explain something real fast: Mr Chang is talking to me through his fortune cookies. every single one i get is applicable to my life, and happens within weeks. i got three romance related ones come up within a few weeks, and then i started dating The Ex. god, schizos must love fortune cookies. mine read "an important question will soon be asked." and my second one informed me "your ambition will soon pay off." i won't go into drastic detail on these, but they are eery. i hope the latter is true.

anyway, as i said, the night gets weirder. i get this text at 11:41 pm from a good friend of mine, asking to come over and even bring drinks. i said no, since, well it's nearly 12 am, i'm in bed and i'm about to start my book on the middle ages. and then it hits me: what the hell is this man talking about? (also, totally the question that chang was talking about.) so i ask him.

long story short, he is after me. in the boy-girl-in-a-car-hot-summer-night sense. of course, i am caught entirely off guard. i don't decline the idea, but i'm not delivering a green light. why, you ask? tequila, you are clearly a lonely and bored girlblogger, take this opportunity! well, numerous yellow lights are all around. once more, i am met with the crushing realization that another man whom i have held close isn't after me as a friend. i have officially never had a very close male friendship that has not ended in this. interesting and dismal. and also, The Ex and i have a weird thing right now. yeah, i can hear the groaning. but it's different! him and i have been on and off for a year, we've dated twice, hooked up a few times, and now we're in this situation where we're just pretending we're dating again. ewww. but i'm assuming he doesn't want a relationship, right? but it's clear we're not quite out of the woods regarding how *over* each other we actually are. complicated. so if i go with this friend of mine and figure this out - let's call him June, as it is the month of June - am i cheating on The Ex? is The Ex even The Ex at this point? oh brother. i might get lunch with him today - June, not The Ex as The Ex isn't replying to my texts today, which is pretty unusual - and i can see if i even like him in that manner. he is attractive, no mistake. but he can be a little immature. The Ex is two years older than me, and even he can be a child.

anyway. i'll figure something out, and i'll let you all know how it goes.

love,

- t xx